Monday, November 23, 2009

The Real Sex and The Suburbs

So remember all that stress I was talking about before due to the 40 hour a week job? Well, the good news is that it's gone. The bad news is it has been replaced with the stress of unemployment.

Yes, I lost my job two weeks ago. That is why I haven't posted on Sex and The Suburbs. There hasn't been all that much sexiness in these here suburbs. Notice I said not that much. Which means there has been some. Because after I cleaned myself up, stopped crying, finally took a shower, and stopped feeling bad for myself, we had some amazing sex.

Because tragedy can really bring you together like that, can't it?

My husband stepped up to the plate and supported me in a way that I wasn't quite sure he was capable of. He took care of the children when I was emotionally unable to. He cooked incredibly delicious meals when I couldn't even brush my hair. And he made me feel sexy when I hadn't changed my clothes in two days.

That is love. That is what marriage is all about.

That is sex and the suburbs.

More to come. Keep sending me stories, because now we can really begin. Now that I am unemployed, I have lots of time to spend on the blog and writing this book that has been slowly forming itself in my head and even more slowly on paper for half a year. Everything happens for a reason, so I am taking this gift I have been given and not taking it for granted. I have learned my lesson in the past and I won't make that mistake ever again.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Overtired and Undersexed, How Bout You?

Last night I asked my husband how he was, and he replied "Overtired and undersexed."

I died a little bit on the inside. It made me feel REALLY bad, like I wasn't doing my "duty" as a good wife to keep him sexed up as much as possible. And, to be honest, this is one area that we have not really had much of an issue with in the past. I have always been one of those wives that was always up for a good roll in the hay, even if I wasn't in the mood, and I even prided myself on the fact that, as of about six months ago, I had NEVER turned him away. Not once.

Well that streak's dead. There have been numerous times the past few months that my husband has started groping me and I have been so incredibly tired and emotionally drained that I have rolled over and escaped his advances, slipping into a deep, life-escaping sleep.

Eight years wasn't a bad run, right?

Instead of having sex multiple times a week, now we are down to about once a week, and it's a banner week if we sex it up twice. Pathetic. Lame. TRAGIC even. But right now, sex is really low on my list of things to do. It doesn't even make it on the to-do list, where all the most important stuff goes to be crossed off.

But between worrying about the swine flu and whether or not to vaccinate my kids, working from home 40 hours a week, trying to keep my kids from destroying my house or themselves, and the various activities, appointments and responsibilities of daily life, I'm just spent. And my libido is spent too.

I know I am not alone. This seems to be one of the most common complaints from parents that I have come across in my surveys. Everyone wishes they had more energy for sex, but they don't know exactly how to get it. If only we could bottle the energy our children have that allows them to function on overdrive from sunrise to sunset. But we can't. So what do we do?

What do YOU do when you are overtired and undersexed?